Identity

Definition:  The fact of being who or what a person is.

For the year of 2023 we will use a theme of Identity as we read, watch, learn, grow, and experience life together.  We encourage you to start with yourself, what makes you, you?  How has your family, your childhood, your life experiences, relationships, culture, and places you lived influenced who you are today?

Race and Convos is a community intentionally committed to learning and growth around deconstructing racism and coming together in understanding.  As I have been growing on my journey, I have heard many things said about me.

“It’s ok she is one of us.”

“I feel comfortable around you, not like most white people.”

“I forget your white.”

“She is here for the men.”

“You dyed your hair black to try and be black.”

“You’re so comfortable.”

Each one of these made me feel differently.  Some made me feel happy that my friends, church members, or co-workers felt comfortable to be their authentic self.  Others made me feel angry at how someone identified me.  Then some made me wrestle my own identity and want to pull away from other white people.  The journey is not easy, it’s not smooth, it requires honesty and humility, and the ability to listen.

How my journey began…

If I go back to childhood I recall curiosity, ignorance, and naivety.  I remember the beating of Rodney King Jr. and knowing it was wrong.  I started to see crowns in the back of the car windows and curious about why I was seeing them and hadn’t before I asked my parents.  They explained it was related to the beating of Rodney King Jr. to show support for him.  In high school, I began to identify my ignorance when my parents got on me for using inappropriate language.  The school had LIMITED diversity, kind of a tokenism environment, and the white kids who sagged their pants were called w*&%%$#.  In my ignorance, I told my parents that was what a kid was called, and they came down fast and hard on me.  I do not recall if we went into why, but I knew after that day I should not say that word or the word it derived from.

When I arrived on the campus of Michigan State University for college, I was so relieved to have some diversity in my world. I began to make friends from different races, religions, and ethnicities.  I loved learning from them as our friendships grew.  This was when I began to learn one of the most valuable lessons for the journey of deconstructing racism: listen!

My Hope for Race and Convos

What was special and what I hope for Race and Convos is that as we build our community, we get to know one another as individual people.  That as we read books, have experiences, watch movies, and go on trips, we engage on an individual level and allow the conversations about our differences to organically occur.  I recently watched the new movie, You People, and there was a line that the black character said to her soon to be white mother-in-law, “I am not your toy”.  I appreciate each person in our community’s desire to grow and build understanding and awareness.  However, I want to emphasize the importance that identity includes personality, interests, hobbies, motivations, culture, race, humor, intellect and more.  So, as you join us on the journey, remember each person is on their own journey and each person is their own person.  Please do not make someone be your resource, but take the time to learn for yourself and use Race and Convos as a community to grow in.

Use the comments to introduce yourself and share what you are comfortable with about your identity.  Look forward to meeting everyone and welcome to Race and Convos!

Many Cultures, Our World
www.raceandconvos.org